August 25, 2025
Find Meaningful Options with the Help of an End of Life Doula
For many people, keeping a loved one’s ashes at home feels comforting, a way to stay close to someone they have lost. But over time, you may find yourself wondering: what now? What should you do with the ashes? How can you honour your loved one in a way that feels meaningful and right?
These are deeply personal questions, and there is no single answer. The good news is that you do not have to navigate this alone. An end of life doula can provide compassionate guidance to help you explore options, honour your loved one’s memory and create a plan that feels aligned with your values and emotions.
Why People Struggle with What to Do Next
It is not uncommon for families to hold onto ashes without a clear plan. Grief is complex and sometimes it feels easier to delay decisions. You may worry about making the wrong choice or feel unsure about what your loved one would have wanted.
Over time, however, ashes can become a source of uncertainty or even stress. You may feel ready to take the next step but not know where to begin. That is where an end of life doula can help.
How an End of Life Doula Can Help
End of life doulas are trained to provide emotional support and practical guidance during life’s most tender moments, including after a loved one has passed. When it comes to deciding what to do with ashes, a doula can:
- Help you explore options. From scattering ceremonies in meaningful locations to creating keepsakes or memorial gardens, there are many ways to honour your loved one. A doula can guide you through these choices and help you discover what feels right for you and your family.
- Create a personalised plan. Every person’s grief journey is unique, and so is every memorial. A doula will work with you to design a plan that reflects your loved one’s personality, values and legacy while respecting your own needs.
- Provide emotional support. Making decisions about ashes can bring up unexpected emotions. A doula offers a compassionate, non-judgemental space for you to process those feelings as you move forward at your own pace.
- Guide ceremonies or rituals. If you choose to hold a scattering ceremony or another type of memorial, a doula can help guide the process to ensure it feels intentional and meaningful.
Meaningful Ideas for Honouring Ashes
If you are feeling unsure about what is possible, here are some ideas an end of life doula might suggest:
- Scattering in a special place. Choose a location that held significance for your loved one, such as a favourite beach, hiking trail or garden and hold a private or family ceremony.
- Planting a memorial tree. Mix the ashes with soil and plant a tree or flowers as a living tribute.
- Creating keepsakes. Consider turning some of the ashes into jewellery, glass art or other keepsakes so you can carry their memory with you in a tangible way.
- Building a memorial space at home. Designate a small area in your home or garden as a memorial space where you can keep the ashes alongside photos or mementos.
- Scattering at sea. If permitted in your area, scattering ashes at sea can be a peaceful way of saying goodbye while connecting with nature.
- Incorporating ashes into art. Some artists create paintings or sculptures that use cremation ashes, turning them into lasting works of beauty and remembrance.
The Importance of Finding What Feels Right
Ultimately, there is no right or wrong way to handle your loved one’s ashes, only what feels right for you. The aim is not simply to decide what to do but to create something meaningful that helps you feel connected while honouring their life and legacy.
An end of life doula understands the weight of these decisions and can support you with compassion, creativity and care.
You Do Not Have to Do This Alone
If you feel uncertain about what to do with your loved one’s ashes, know that support is available. An end of life doula can guide you with empathy and help you move forward with confidence and peace of mind.
There is no need to rush, there is no timeline for grief or for making these decisions. When the time feels right, having someone by your side who understands can make all the difference.
If this resonates with you, or with someone you know who may be struggling, reach out to Doula Connections. Together, we can create something beautiful and meaningful that honours your loved one’s memory in the way they deserve.
